First of all, this Coronavirus can just go ahead and eff right off. Between the startling statistics, the economic havoc, and the countless cancelations of graduations, travels, weddings, and other things, I think I speak for everyone when I say that we were over the Rona before it even began.
But, anyway, this post isn’t meant to be a sob story. Yes, the current situation is sad/stressful/completely shitty. But, I want to be a ray of light in that sadness, especially for all of my couples (and the countless others around the world) who have had to reschedule their weddings.
I want to start by saying: I see you. I feel you. And, I understand your pain. In case you don’t know our story, Antonio and I actually had to cancel our wedding due to Hurricane Maria. We were supposed to get married in Puerto Rico (Antonio’s homeland) a few weeks after Maria hit. Long story short, everything was destroyed, we had to cancel our dream wedding a month before it was supposed to happen, and we lost all of our money.
We ended up planning a new wedding in a completely different location (Big Sur, CA) with all new vendors and a revised guest list. The whole process really sucked. BUT…our actual wedding ended up being so perfect and wonderful and beautiful that we can’t be too sad about it now.
So, to all of you who are going through the cancelation/rescheduling process right now, I’m sending you so much love. I know your pain and stress. And, I hope that I can provide just a little bit of comfort when I say that whenever/wherever your wedding occurs, it will be wonderful, even if it looks a little different than expected.
One of the things we did to help us through the loss of our dream wedding was celebrate our would-be wedding day. It was a day we had planned for for so long that we couldn’t let it pass without honoring it. So, without further adieu, here are some ideas for…
How to celebrate your would-be wedding day
If you were planning a wedding with a theme, honor that theme in whatever you decide to do that day. It can be through the wearing of certain colors, eating of certain food, reading of certain prayers, or anything else. Take a theme(s) from your day and incorporate it into your would-be wedding day celebrations.
One of the most unique things about our wedding was that it was going to be in Puerto Rico to honor Antonio’s background. We were planning a massive Puerto Rican feast. Since eating is one of our favorite things in life, we honored that part of our wedding by having a group dinner at a local Latin restaurant. We ate tostones and sorullitos. We listened to salsa music. We spoke Spanish. It was wonderful!
While group dinners in the time of COVID may not be possible, you can get creative by ordering out, cooking a feast at home, or having a picnic. Even socially distanced backyard BBQs could be an option! (Done safely and smartly, of course.)
One of the most important parts of any wedding is the people you surround yourself with. The same is true with us. We made sure our best friends were with us to celebrate our would-be wedding day. My bridesmaids got blow outs and mani/pedis with me during the day. Then, everyone who was available joined us for dinner and dancing.
Again, this is difficult right now. Thanks, Rona. But, through the magic of Zoom, socially distant gatherings, or drive by celebrations, you can definitely “surround yourself” with the people you love.
Whether you love it or hate it, dancing is a source of stress relief and happiness inducing endorphins (I just made that up, but I think it’s probably accurate). So, take some time to dance with your partner. We were lucky enough to go out dancing with our friends, but if you can’t do that due to lockdowns, put on your first dance song or your wedding playlist and partake in some stress relieving dancing.
Commemorate your would-be wedding day with a toast. Grab some champagne or make your signature cocktail. Toast your partner, your plans, your family, your friends. Whatever feels authentic in that moment. Say something nice, send some well wishes, and then put that grief/sense of loss/stress/sadness behind you.
I actually got this idea from one of my couples! My wonderful couple, Faith and Jesse, were scheduled to get married on June 6, 2020 at The Bluestone. Since they had to postpone their wedding until next year, we’re doing their engagement photos that day at The Bluestone!
So, whether you still need engagement photos or just want commemorative photos, whether you take photos at your venue or in your backyard, planning a session with your favorite photographer is a great way to commemorate the day.
I mean, weddings are supposed to be romantic, right?! So, whether you’re able to have a festive would-be wedding day celebration or you’re limited in your ability to celebrate, make sure you include some romance in your day. Take time to honor your love and each other. Cuddle, laugh, kiss, do….other things (*wink wink*). Just make it a point to love and cherish each other on what was supposed to be the most romantic day ever.
Do Something Big
Ok, this one might not be for everyone. But, do something big so that you don’t “waste” that special date. For some, this might mean actually getting married that day! I have several couples who are planning private backyard ceremonies on their would-be wedding day and saving the big party for a future date. (And I can’t wait to photograph both the private ceremonies and the parties to come!)
For us, that meant buying a house! We decided to put an offer in on our current home. It was definitely a BIG and special way to commemorate our would-be wedding day.
Other ideas include:
- planning that dream trip you’ve always wanted to go on
- buying a new car
- agreeing to have kids
- applying for your dream job
- starting a new business
- making plans to move to a new city
- and anything else big, monumental, and worthy of a commemorative date
I hope these ideas for how to celebrate your would-be wedding day are helpful! Drop a comment below to let me know how you plan to celebrate your would-be wedding day!